If everything is better with bacon and cheese, why not just eat bacon and cheese? And why not batter 'em and deep fry 'em? Maybe a little bacon marinara to dip them in? Sound good? Let's do it.

Step 1: Gather Your Ingredients

You will need bacon (the pre-cooked microwaveable kind), mozzarella sticks, flour, eggs, milk, seasoning salt, oil, marinara sauce, toothpicks, some bowls and utensils, and a fryer. FYI, you will need 4 pieces of bacon for every mozzarella stick, plus several pieces for the marinara sauce, and some extra for the "helpers". *Go ahead and let the oil start heating up while you are putting the sticks together.

Step 2: Remove Cheese Wrapper

Yeah. They don't taste right if you leave it on. Probably a choking hazard too.

Step 3: Cut the Cheese (haha)

Just cut each cheese stick in half.

Step 4: Wrap the Cheese

Wrap one piece of bacon around the cheese longways. Make sure both ends are covered. Wrap another piece around and around the side. Use toothpicks to secure each end.

Step 5: Wait!

It's not time to eat them yet!

Step 6: Get the Flour (not Flowers!) Mix Ready

Put about 4 cups of flour and 1/4 cup of seasoning salt in a bowl an mix it. Be careful not to mix too fast!

Step 7: Mix the Eggs and Milk

In a separate bowl, beat 6 eggs and a cup of milk together. *Crack the eggs on the side of the bowl, not your sister's head!

Step 8: Messy Time!

Ok, here's where it gets really messy, but it's so worth it. Dip the sticks in the egg mixture, then toss them into the flour mixture. Then back in the egg mix. Then back in the flour mix. This gets them really well coated, and makes them really crispy and delicious. In the process, you will get really, really messy.

Step 9: Mix the Marinara

Doesn't really matter when you do this, as long as it's before the frying commences, because as soon as those things come out of the fryer, you're gonna want to dig in. It's simple. Just cut up several slices of cooked bacon. Stir into your favorite marinara sauce. *Licking the spoon is not really recommended in this recipe. Singing into it like a microphone is always recommended.

Step 10: Fry 'Em

Gently drop several sticks into the fryer. Move them around once or twice to keep them from sticking together, and to cook evenly on all sides. They're done when they're floating. Carefully remove them from the grease and set them on a tray or plate lined with paper towels. This absorbs some of the grease, so I guess that would make them slightly less bad for you? Carefully remove toothpicks. *Do not eat them with the toothpicks still in them! May cause accidental tongue piercing!