Pantspack: the New Look From Flagrant Vagrant Fashion Studio

Are you like me?

Wait, let me rephrase that in a way that's less likely to incriminate you should a law enforcement official read your response.

Do you share some entirely non-criminal inconveniences in your life that could be solved by having a hideously ugly backpack?
Do you want to look like a hobo, but think bindles are "Uppity"?
Do you treat your backpacks in a manner that causes them to deteriorate into uselessness in a fraction of the time they would for any reasonable person?
Do you occasionally wish to appear as if you had absolutely nothing worth stealing?
Me too, friend. Me too.

To that end, I have modified a design originally found in my Boy Scout Handbook for a temporary pack and made it permanent. Your Pantspack will be cheap, durable, and bordering on the practical!
Let's see if we can't start a ludicrous fad.

Step 1: Materials

Here's what you'll need to make a Pantspack like mine:
1 pair of extremely homely jeans
Needle and thread
1 Crown Royal pouch
1 profoundly ratty piece of rope

The uniquely utilitarian handyman05 suggested using waxed dental floss as an alternative to button/carpet thread. What a great idea!

Step 2: Setting Up

Very little alteration is required here. Basically, you're going to loop the legs up and stick the cuffs in the back pockets. It's pretty simple.
This will provide for a stronger hold...I would assume. These looped pantlegs form the straps of your pantspack.

Step 3: Sew

If you know how to sew, you're probably female and/or a doctor. I am neither, but I have been able to pick up the rudiments of sewing over the years. If you don't know how to sew, this profoundly helpful instructable will help profoundly.

You're going to stitch through the pocket, the pantleg and the inside of the pocket here--that's four layers of canvas. A thimble may be in order. Not having one handy, I used the handle of my toothbrush.

Step 4: Adding the Electronics Pouch

I wanted a pocket for my Mp3 player, GPS or other device that would cradle the screen in its soft embrace. But what sort of pouch would give me that freedom without ruining my hard-won hobo-chic aesthetic?
Why not a Crown Royal bag?
It's the work of a moment to stitch it onto the inside of the waistband.

Step 5: The Flap

In order to prevent your valuable hobo accouterments from falling out the top or being seen by nosy-parkers, you'd probably do well to install a flap of some sort. I made mine out of a bandanna, but Handyman05 used a bath mat and it looked pretty good. Just sew it on around the waistline.

Step 6: The Drawstring

For the drawstring, I used a piece of the most gnarly, awful rope I could dig up in approximately two minutes of looking around my garage. Other alternatives include a stained, tattered necktie and an old belt. Just feed it through the beltloops and tie it as you would your shoelaces.
Had I been possessed of the forethought, I would've gotten another pair and cut them up for a flap to sew inside so that my clothes don't poke out the top when I close it up.

Step 7: Congratulations!

You are now the reluctant owner of one of the ugliest fashion accessories imaginable. However I think you'll find that what it lacks in beauty, it doesn't at all compensate for in any way. It really is just an inexpensive, ugly backpack. It is, however, fairly comfortable, and amazingly stylish*.

If you can, use a larger size of jeans. While my computer, camera and a couple of changes of clothes fit in here fairly easily, it's a close thing. I might expand it with a burlap sack if I can find one easily, for added capacity.
You can probably sew the cuffs to the front side of the pants if you wish, leaving the back pockets free. It's your choice.

*Disclaimer: Not at all stylish.